3 supremely powerful words; “I choose you.”
If you’ve been on either end of those words you know the power of them.
For a loved one to declare ‘ I choose you’ can be the beginning of an incredible journey. Likewise, when the words change too ‘I don’t choose you’.
In my last post I was reflecting on the power of understanding our choices. We make many choices daily but most are small and sub-conscious but all are driven from a sense of self, knowledge gained from previous experience and influenced by our social environment.
In the day-to-day, the way we behave has immediate cause and effect in the moment, then the moment passes, leaving feelings and hopefully understanding in it’s wake. As part of a family unit the effect of our choices becomes more powerful because the effects are wider spread. We’re responsible for making the best choices we can make, in order to support the broader family system. As the consequences of the decisions become more significant, usually the choices warrant more conscious reflection before a decision is made. But all these choices and decisions will, over time, build our sense of personal and social identity.
Looking ahead, our world is becoming more and more digital data/information orientated. It’s human nature to be curious and want to learn and understand the world around us. But how is the age of digital information changing our sense of self? As we track the steps we take each day, the hours and quality of sleep, the distance we run or ride; we compare our selves to others more and more through social media and the tracking platforms. We’re tracking the minute and mundane daily choices we make.
What is the point of all this information capture? How is this data changing our sense of self? Are we becoming better people?
The value is in the awareness, in the knowing, that leads to understanding and hopefully better choices.
The more we reflect and understand our selves, then almost certainly that awareness leads to better choices and better behaviour; doesn’t it? We act, then reflect, then course correct and integrate the previous lessons. So we grow from the awareness, the knowledge and the reflection process. We can take ownership of our own personal ‘journey’ to self-awareness.
But does the same theory apply when others make judgements about us? How do we ensure, in the digital age, that any judgements made about us, based on our digital footprint (digital identity) are considered in the right context and with the right (ethical) understanding? How are frameworks being built to consider the fluidity of identity? Will these decision engines respect that our behaviours represent our past and may be an indicator of our future behaviours, but can they predict developing self-awareness? How will they consider the life events that shape personal transformations?
I put it to you that actions will always speak louder than words but that words plant a seed for change, growth and reflection. The words and information of our past behaviours can help us learn and then intentionally shape our next choices and decisions.The science of information analytics is beautiful and can teach us so much but the real value comes at the intersection where science meets the art of expression and freedom of choice; the very human desire to self reflect and grow.
Next time you make a conscious choice consider this; If your choice was being recorded and would later influence your eligibility to purchase a new home, apply for a job or influence acceptance in to a certain school — would that change your behaviour? Would you choose differently? Would someone say ‘I choose you’?
